The red dragon

Not even half–way between my home and Honda Helderberg‘s see–through Lifestyle Centre where I picked up my red Honda Civic Type–R, I had an unidentified vehicle with blazing fog lights attempting to chase me. Note the use of the word "attempting". The Type–R‘s 2–litre i–VTEC 8000rpm 4–cylinder screamer of an engine made short work of putting bucket–loads of space between itself and its over–ambitious pursuer. The transversely–mounted motor kicks out a healthy 146kW just 200rpm short of its redline thanks to a trick valve mechanism and sophisticated intake system, complete with independent throttle bodies. These revered tools of the Fast ‘n Furious brigade make for a wonderful raspy engine note and together with i–VTEC ensure that the hot Civic pulls firmly at any speeds, and starts going bezerk from 5400rpm onwards.

Out on the open road the Type–R rewards its driver with better fuel consumption

The change to high–rev power is indicated by a little red light on the upper dash and brings with it a few additional helpings of power and sound. The transition isn‘t as pronounced as in previous VTEC motors, and I found the Type–R to be very lively and willing at "normal" engine speeds, i.e. under 5500rpm. Working your way through the crisp 6–speed gearbox with not much throttle will see the Type–R accelerating nicely with everyday traffic. The feral engine will start growling from 3500rpm onwards and I assure you that it won‘t be long before you succumb to its aural advances. It just takes a small gap in traffic to complete the temptation

My apologies for jumping straight into the engine/performance part of my report, but the Civic Type–R power plant deserves no less. It might be too high–strung for some, or not hardcore enough for boy racers, but I found the compromise just right. I have to stress that the lunatic Civic is not exactly soothing to drive, thanks in part to its harsh ride, short gear ratios and eager engine, but mostly because it attracts a lot of attention. I like to think of it as a traffic light grand prix magnet, and cannot recall a single journey where some sort of dropped and tinted vehicle wasn‘t challenging my red dragon. Whereas you would be under no obligation to accept such advances, I found them incredibly hard to resist because of the car‘s slingshot acceleration, howling motor and snappy gearbox. And as not to be a bad loser, I shall name the only two vehicles that got me sweating. A Volvo S40 T5 put up a very, very close fight in my favour, and a Mercedes GL500 actually sailed off into the distance. At 6.8 and 6.0 seconds respectively to 100km/h claimed acceleration for both vehicles, that confirmed the Civic Type–R‘s quoted time of 6.6.

Unless that red needle has breached the number 6, torque steer is nowhere to be found. Being front–wheel–drive there is some under–steer when you man–handle the car in corners, but on straight and dry tarmac only first gear full belt will get the front end to start weaving around for grip. The break in traction might be sudden but never overwhelming, and happily neither is the traction control. Even in torrential downpour conditions when first gear flat–out is madness, the traction control merely retards wheel–spin without cutting any of the acceleration. This is especially handy because you couldn‘t afford to lose ground to the subwoofer–laden hatchback vainly trying to keep up with you. Due to this merciful nature, I simply ignored the traction control button for the remainder of my test period. It even allowed a short chirp of the driving rubber when going from first to second gear in a determined fashion.

Perhaps I should now touch on the other bits of kit on the Type–R. The donor 5–door Civic is already a wacky platform to start with, and the red H transformation has made this 3–door variant even more bonkers. The Type–R is only available in red or black, the former being my colour of choice, although I would like to see a grey example some time. The display–case glass between the front headlights has been replaced by mesh grill, I‘m guessing to cool down that brute of an engine. The triangular fog lights and exhaust pipes remain, but they‘re underlined by deeper spoilers at both ends, with side skirts to match. The car sits lower than its 5–door sibling, and rotates a set of stunning 18–inch lightweight wheels covered with 225/40 rubber.

The heightened madness continues on the inside with those aforementioned red & black bucket seats, red carpets, aluminium gear–knob and aluminium pedals. The sound system and ventilation controls are strewn all around the facia, which somehow blends in quite agreeably with the futuristic twin–level instrument cluster. I found the mp3–capable sound system loud, crisp, and clear, but wasn‘t really bothered with it too much. As another first for a test vehicle, I sometimes turned the music down to hear the motor! The growling engine note summoned by the i–VTEC light was much better, especially when accompanied by a yelping and rapidly disappearing German saloon in my mirrors.

The central rev counter houses a multifunction display similar to those in other Honda products, which display mileage, range, warning messages, instant and overall consumption. I received the Type–R with a 14.5L/100km average, and returned it with 14.2L/100km. This absurd thirst speaks for my own driving, and especially for the people who abused, erghh drove the Type–R before me. I think I saw 13.9L once, and maybe over 15L as well, but I really couldn‘t care. Buying more fuel for the hungry Honda is like buying candy for your 2–year–old niece. You know it‘ll be gone in a flash, but you‘re guaranteed a whole heap of smiles and the occasional giggle. If you‘re concerned about comfort or consumption I implore you to rather look at the 5–door Civic.

The steering wheel of the Type–R is loaded with all sorts of tilt buttons to control sound system and cruise control, but I also chose to ignore the latter. The hot hatchback isn‘t really suited to, and would be incredible unappreciated, on a long–distance constant–rev journey. In fact, I wasn‘t going to admit this to anybody, but the Type–R‘s howl and acceleration made me invent a new driving style on the national road, by which I would slow down to mingle with slow traffic, then boot it at the next best opportunity just to let the motor yodel and snick through the cogs. Then I‘d slow down again and repeat the process, also because I‘d have half a dozen rep mobiles in hot pursuit. I‘m a hooligan, I know. It‘s all the Type–R‘s fault!

And while we're reading about fault, there were only 3 things I disliked about the Type-R. Firstly, the silver plastic petrol filler cap is rather tacky, but it seems to be a feature of the whole Civic range. Secondly, that aluminium gear lever is positively unpleasant when the outside temperature reads 5 degrees. And thirdly, when the umpteenth wannabe Vin Diesel revs his motor at you after a long day, you can start longing for something a little less brash. Well, just after you snap-changed to second at 8200rpm and left faux Vin for dead.
If you want to get really picky, the doors are too big (just like any Coupe), the nose is too low, it beeps a lot, rear legroom is... you know what? I don't care. That's not the point of this car. It's a wild, loud, crazy Honda, and a very good one at that.

Great sadness plunged into my life on the fateful Saturday I had to return my red dragon. The heavens opened and my mood dwindled. The wild adventure had to stop at some stage, the crouching and mean–looking red monster would no longer attract neighbourhood kids with greasy hands. Most of my friends stopped coming over, and every subsequent car I drove felt like its parking brake was permanently engaged. I thought we had bonded, but it was not to be. The admiring looks from car fundies had to come to an end, just like the chance encounters at the petrol pumps with spotty youngsters wearing back–to–front caps. "Jissie bru, is it yours?" Not anymore, my son. Not anymore.

Would I buy one? I'd buy TWO if I could! Perhaps then I can sleep again at night?

For:

• Boy-racer performance & sound
• Whacky styling
• Incredible seats
• Everyday usability
• Great handling and brakes
  

Against:

• Boy-racer performance & sound
• Drinks a lot when rushed
• Ride a bit too hard for some
• Traffic-light grand prix magnet
• There are none standing in my garage